thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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