She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
