they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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