You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
