Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
