Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
