You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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