Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize