Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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