i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize