i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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