ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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