I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
