I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
