Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize