Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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