its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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