I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize