sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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