We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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