piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
