My nipple is on Facebook.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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