i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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