and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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