Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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