A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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