i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
