haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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