Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
