Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
