She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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