dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
