Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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