i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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