white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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