Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
