Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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