your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
