i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
