It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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