Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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