Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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