I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
