i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
