I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
