i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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