Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
