if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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