im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize