So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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