Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
