there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
