I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize