I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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