I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
