are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
