I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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