she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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